You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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