Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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