Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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