I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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