That's when you crack a 10am beer
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
