I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
