For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
