I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
