meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
