i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
