Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize