Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize