people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
