OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
