I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
is wine microwaveable?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
