Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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