what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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