then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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