I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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