Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize