Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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