The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Randomize
