my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
These tits shall not be calmed
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
