if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
