Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
