idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
