i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
