Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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