wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
