Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
