do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
