Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
