I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
