Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
