talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
