then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just blew my weed a kiss
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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