think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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