I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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