All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
