remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
