so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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