what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
