Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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