i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
