Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
