You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
