your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
