we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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