dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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