it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
