I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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