; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
