Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
