so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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