they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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