small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
