Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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