dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
