OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
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