Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
