We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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