You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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