We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
