Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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