Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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