i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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