seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
