I just threw up on my dentist
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize