I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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