just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
