I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
