bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
