the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
