Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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