Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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