ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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