my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i already hear my dad disowning me
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
