I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
